“But I paid good money for that.”
I can almost hear her saying it. She’s standing near her closet holding a blouse she bought three years ago and the tag is still on it. She doesn’t even particularly like it anymore. She can’t remember a time when she reached for it. But the tag is still on it so she knows what she paid for it. So back on the hanger it goes.
What is she really saying? Why is she hanging on to something she likely won’t ever wear?
The answers can get deep.
She paid good money and by god, she’s not going to waste that money. She’s not looking to just toss out that money without wearing that piece. Sometimes she’s feeling guilty about the investment she made in that item and never followed through on. As a stylist, it’s not always easy to know and often, she doesn’t really know the reason herself.
Most likely there is a story attached to that piece. She saw it and imagined herself wearing it… often to an unknown place or event. And so it hangs there.
Perhaps she envisioned wearing it with something in particular, without ever knowing what she’d actually pair with it. Maybe it was the trip she hadn’t even booked, or the weight she was planning to lose. The job she never applied for. The event she decided not to attend.
And there it hangs, waiting for the right moment in time.
Maybe this sounds like someone you know, or it could sound like someone you see in the mirror each morning.
And maybe letting go of it makes you feel some kind of way, like you got it wrong. And as long as it stays in the closet, there’s a chance you’ll wear it someday. You’ll find the right pants. Lose the weight. Book the trip. Make the purchase make sense.
The question isn’t about the event or what you paid for the item. The bigger question is, why are you STILL paying?
You paid once. Stop paying twice.
The second payment isn’t living in your closet.
It’s living in your head.
It’s the guilt. The failed goal. The I really should wear this. The reminder that something didn’t happen the way you thought it would.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t me telling you to throw these things away.
Maybe it was a gift from your Mom. Or something that belonged to your sister. Maybe the trip is finally booked or you’re actively working toward the goal connected to it.
You get to keep it.
The question isn’t simply, “Have I worn this lately?” It’s more like, “Why am I keeping this?”
If the answer tells you it really is time to let it go, that doesn’t mean you walk away with nothing.
Before you release the piece, ask yourself what it taught you?
Was it purchased for a fantasy life? Did you buy it because the salesperson was extra nice? Was it because it was a fantastic deal?
Did you buy it for the body you planned to have instead of the body you were dressing?
Did you have absolutely nothing at home already to wear with it?
That’s actually useful information.
Once you know, you know, right? Then you’re more willing to consign it, sell it, donate it or give it to a friend.
Someone else may be looking for exactly what you’re ready to release.
I mean realistically, how long should something you bought in the past get to keep charging you for a future that didn’t happen?
What’s your “but I paid good money for that” item? Tell me in the comments.